Chp 1: THE BEGINNING OF A MAN!!
I am always a real man, not sure my god is🤔🤔 (It is supposed to be so, can’t say no evil). But I was raised by real men 💪💪(and one mother). Living my life beats the crap outta me because I gave up my liver. My manliness is at such an extreme, I gotta flush it out on the roadside every now and then🚽🚽. But I know that I cannot fail in the least (cause my god watches me all the time). I have a feeling that it knows everything 💐( since it peeps in my diary every day). After all a real man can’t be faked but I am confused about my God’s gender ( I think it is a guy but I use ‘it’ since I have to live another day, show my manliness to the world, basically not get whooped).
I still remember the beginning of my journey. Pouring 16 bottles o’ beer🍺X16, (which cost me 15 gold coins and half a silver) I prayed and sacrificed to my beloved god🙏🙏 (emphasising it won’t strike lightning on me).I washed my boots thoroughly, avoiding the soles 👣(for the stink of a man’s sole is one of his greatest weapons). Took my pa’s blessings, robbed him of gold and beer and began my journey. O Lord, please watch over me👀👀 (and my gold💰💰) as I begin my fated journey and a mission to show the world true manliness and manpower.👍
Chp 2: THE WORLD A MAN LIVES IN!!
Quite some time since I began my manly journey😎. I wandered over hills and rampaged on towns, entering those taverns and stealing them chugs o’ beer- part of my daily dose 🍻(Hopefully, my God considers this for medication💉). He is very generous at times (notice the appeasement, my Lord), but kind of forgetful and ignorant at others 😈😈😈(SORRY FOR CONFESSING!!!PLEASE RESURRECT ME!!)…..(CRAP😵). Thankfully he always supports me at hard times. Godville is a creepy place. Towns just wind and wind until they poof out💭💭. I get lost like, every other day (this statement is not to be considered with above statements including the term ’beer’📝). Sometimes, towns are all spooky👻👻 and the merchants are money-grubbin, other times they are deserted🏜. The routes are all messed up (even when sober👁👁) and the people are crap. All kinds of shitty quests are given, (shitty for IQ<100 i.e me) and only I know how I do them🖐.
With time, my manly body has grown even more manly💪💪. I have gained the legendary beer potbelly, facial hair so manly, they serve as home for new species 🎅(part of a quest which I’m not sure I satisfied). I got the big man muscles💪, and the perfect symbol of manliness- the hairy armpit.🤳 My chest hair has the perfect scragginess, defining a real man. For ma real home in Godville ain’t the road🚷 or the town🌆, it is the tavern🏚 and the beer!!🍺 (RESURRECT ME PLEAASE!!)😩😩😩