“And then I became a champion for the Almighty Gyndius!” That’s all I could remember for the longest. Then one day, Lord Gyndius told me the story of my beginnings…
I hail from a small village. Not a town or a city, a village. My village was so small that it was completely destroyed by a Millenium falcon! The Almighty One explained how he rescued me from the clutches of the enormous bird because I was destined for greatness (or was it that I was destined to avenge my family’s death?).
As a small boy, I trained rigorously most everyday. Of course my God required that I rest some, and by rest, I mean pray and worship and make sacrifices to Him.
When I came of age, I was asked, by a Godville city guardsman, to fetch him a pail of water. That was the first of many quests in my life. It took nearly 5 days for me to complete this task. No one felt the need to tell me I could take the pail with me to the water’s edge. Needless to say, I began a journal to keep notes and personal accounts of all my future quests. No need to repeat the water pail fiasco!
…To be continued
Now where did I leave those first 42 joirnals? I know I put them some place easy to remember and safe from the prying eyes of other travelers. Ugh, it was under milestone 7, or was it 77? Oh god, I hope it wasn’t 777!?!
…continued…
Since I seem to have misplaced my journals “The Early Years of the Great Onai” and can’t remember what on earth happened two hours ago, let me share something from the current journal I’m writing in…
“02:02: Suddenly a cold beer appeared in my hand. Almighty, you really do care about me!”
That never ceases to amaze me! One minute I was running for my life fighting with all my might, and the next, there was a cold beer in my hand. All monsters respect that kind of pure love shown by the Almighty, otherwise I wouldn’t have able to enjoy that fantasticly chilled beer!
…more information you probably don’t care to read, but it’s my story, so deal with it!?!
After searching every milestone between the Godville entrance and the pub in Beerburg. I’ve decided that my other journals are lost forever.
And thusly… what does “thusly” even mean?
Snowy, my previous pet, and I have been battling battled side by foot for some time now (grounded hogs aren’t very tall). I’ve definitely, probably figured out how to maximize naps between binge drinking fighting monsters. I just have to make sure he falls asleep on the side where he’ll see his shadow! I mean, I just wanted to make sure the little fella is was fully rested before going into the pub battle again.