The Epic and Awesome Chronicles Of Jjanicki
Day 1
So today a trader came up to me and said that I was lazy. I simply was shocked at this insult! Just because I like going to town every couple of milestones because I have a neglecting goddess and want something to drink doesn’t mean I’m lazy. Yes, I probably could do a little more action on my quests, but still! The reason I’m taking 2 aspirin and questing again in the morning, even though I’m not exactly sick doesn’t mean that I could possibly be lazy. I admit, I’ve tried to get out of my quests before but that has a very good reason behind it… Or does it? I forget because I didn’t bother to right it down in my diary. I must have been busy resting under a tree. I might seem a little unmotivated to do most things but… oh wait, that’s pretty much the same thing, but it has to be at least a little different. Well, I’m tired from proving my point. I might as well attempt to kill a few monsters then go to sleep.
Day 2
Yay! Finally one of my pieces is at plus 20! I thought it would never happen! I’ve had the funniest combinations as equipment! Right now I have goose bumps on my arms! Poor goose’s bumps had to be taken off! Oh wait. Gooses don’t have bumps so I must be wearing goosebumps. That’s weird because the only times I’m scared are when a monster is trying to kill me or when I’m so crazy that I scare myself. Either way they don’t work very well. The only thing I really like is the armor of purity because that’s actually armor. Maybe it will make me purer? The other equipment doesn’t serve the purpose. Well I’ve complicated things and confused myself yet again. I’m off to the bar!!
Day 3
So today I managed to get myself killed by that horrible aggressive pedestrian. Thankfully, my goddess actually cared enough to resurrect me on time and I didn’t recieve the aura of spookiness. I’ve had it twice and it creeps even me out, let alone the traders or monsters, vut that’s to my advantage. I got a few interesting encourages today but some of them were weird. For example, why would you give a dying hero random flowers when there are monsters attacking me? Maybe a cold beer, but not flowers. That sounds really good right now, by the way, but I have to lead the undead to the graveyard of the chosen ones before I can get a drink. Oh well. Maybe at the end of my quest I’ll get a free beer coupon instead of a golden brick for the temple. Boy, would that be nice!
Day 4
So today when I was going on my way, trying to find the right path by using the wrong one, to be exact, I fiound a random monster. I was confused because I had no idea I was on a quest. The last thing I remembered was was that I was at the tavern drinking my cares away. Then, I realized that I’d gotten so drunk that I didn’t even know I was questing. That would be an awesome quest to go on. After that, on the way back to Beerburg, someone told me that I had a bad drinking problem and that alcohol shouldn’t be the answer. No, it’s the question and yes is the answer! There is no way I will ever stop drinking and I proud of it. That’s the only part of me that makes me feel like a heroine, even after all the messes in the trade shops because I came in drunk to trade. Oh well!
Day 5
Today I had to enter into my first skirmish because I hadn’t been in the arena for so long. It used to be that I was alwasys there looking for a fight, but that wore off over time. At first, I was a force to be recckoned with, but now I think that has changed. I began to lose and lose and now I never go there. But, the good thing is that I won the skirmish and got a lock of hair to trade for 2874 gold coins. Nice. Then, I upgraded my eye scream skill, had some beer, and got a new weapon. It was really fun and close.
Day 6
For some reason I’ve been getting punished more and more often. I’ve been wanting my goddess’s attention for a long time, but not this kind! I’d take the rainbows or that gross manna any day but not this! I’m starting to get mad and think I will be spiteful very soon. Maybe tomorrow I’ll have more respect shown to me instead of lightning bolts. Oh well. I’ll try to forget about it and go to the tavern.