And that kids is how you eat a horse
I am an idiot and I know it but I am going to pretend I am not and that I don’t know.
I think I have achieved enough wisdom to consider myself somewhat barely intelligent.
Temple biatcheezz!!!
So you might all be wondering how I got here. Me. This random dude. This nobody. How exactly did I somehow end up being taken under the wing of Le Hot Bunbuns in this wierd place. Who I was before. What I did. Well before I get there let me tell you the story of another dude. Just like me. But a lot more interesting. Probably.
Prologue
It all started with a divorce. Actually no wait. We need a name dont we. Aight.
Callum. Callum Curbs. He was a human. You see this guy was that loser dad you see on TV. Mediocre at what he does. Not the best parent to look up to. And selectively oblivious to the shit that happens around him. To be fair, I personally think what came next was kinda his just desserts but I digress. Anyway, his bussiness falls apart. He becomes a deadbeat. His family loses any semblance of respect they had for him. Then his family leave him one by one. His wife cheats on and then leave him for a dashing rogue of a pirate who stopped by their town. His eldest daughter joined the knights as an apprentice. And his young son joins up with a gang of thieves and runs outta town. Now our loser goes through the regular stages of grief, i.e, alcohol, alcohol and more alcohol. And then one morning wakes up with a terrible hangover, in an alleyway, with just the clothes on his back and a wierd mark on his hand. At first he had no idea what the fuck it was. But then he started to hear the voice. It was low, layered and gave him a headache. Callum first thinks its some wierd after effect of the drink. But then the voice stayed when he started become sober. And it was clearer. So our boi is now spooked. So he goes to the library and reads. He realises he done goofed. Apparantly he had somehow gotten so drunk that he made a friend with some eldritch being straight outta Lovecraft. So first, he decides to go properly sober so this will never happen again. Then he decides that this is a sign to get his shit together and start new. So he writes a strongly worded letter to the merchant’s guild and starts a journey into the world.
Chapter 1
When he woke up Callum wasnt sure where he was. He also had a crushing headache. He felt someone stir next to him. He turned over. A woman. long brunette hair, a bit like his. Her eyes were shut and she was breathing softly. Callum vaguely recognised her.
He slowly sat up as to not disturb her and looked around. The room was familiar but it didn’t feel like home. It was a room he regularly booked for the nightly escapades he had been up to in the last many months.
“Urgh.”
He grabbed his head. The headaches were coming in waves now. When he removed his hands he noticed the black mark.
That he recognised.
The black skull with the snake circling it. He felt a shiver down his back. The fact that it was so clear in all this blur and confusion somewhat unnerved him.
Callum tried to get up but by now the headache had grown hands and was reaching down his body to hold his ambulatory muscles.
Callum rubbed his temple. Did he black out again? He was sure he hadn’t drank the prior night. Then again if he had he’d probably not remember at this point right?
Callum felt the room turn cold. The headache was stronger now.
Callum held his temple a little longer. He had not heard the voice in a few days. He had almost convinced himself it had all been a dream or him having a slow nervous breakdown. This of course despite the clearly visible dark mark on his hand which always reminded him otherwise. Yet, the long period of silence inside his head from the intruding force had definitely given him some sense of hope. He had hoped that with time the mark will also disappear and he can carry on living his life as normal.
Normal.
What was normal?
Waking up in alleyways every few nights, with everything on him taken by vagrants? Getting black out drunk and waking up with some stranger’s bed? Or on those rare occassions going back home sober to an empty apartment and crying himself to sleep?
The headache was now pushing him back down on bed and was straddling his head.
Callum had a normal life once. Or atleast he thought it was normal. Then he went and blew it all to hell. Then again maybe it was already blown and he pretended not to see it. Eitherway that was gone now.
He resigned himself to stare at the celing as he fell back on his bed. If the thing in him wants to possess him, then maybe that was for the best. It probably can’t screw over his life anymore than he did right?
“Morning!”
Callum felt the blanket shift as his bedmate sat up. “Good morning yourself,” he greeted back with a smile. He also now took a good look at his lover. A human woman. Quite muscular and toned. Out of the corner of his eye he saw an Imperial Armor.
A guard off duty. Probably out drinking and looking for some fun. That must have been it.
To Be C