Godville

14:28 Exalted One, every time I witness your power and glory, only one word comes to my mind. Keep it up and someday I might be able to construct a whole sentence!
14:29 Joined a crusade against stupidity, but was immediately accused of being a double agent.
01:34 Was abducted by aliens looking for intelligent life forms. I must be smarter than I look, because they promptly sent me back.
01:38 Was about to make an educated guess about what to do next when a passerby told me I’m not qualified to do that.
09:03 My brain fell out again. Gosh, it’s hard to keep an open mind.
02:32 Had a clever thought, but it died of loneliness. What a pity.
23:28 Had a bright idea, but it required consensual separation due to manifest incompatibility of character.
06:49 Stuck my head in the black hole to see what I could do about it. Somehow, the ultra-density of the hole and the impossible emptiness of my head conflicted. There’s no hole anymore. Hope that I won’t have to fill in a black hole again.
15:08 Intelligence fades in time, but stupidity is forever! Long live the heroes, ha!
12:08 Heard that if I didn’t have anything nice to write, I shouldn’t write anything at all. In case you were wondering why this entry doesn’t say anything, Mighty One.
15:09 I used to be opposed to organ transplants, but after my latest resurrection I’ve had a change of heart.
15:33 Done! From now on this village is enriched with another educated idiot. He will definitely get a post in charge. Completed my quest to educate the village idiot. I was offered many, many rewards, but turned them all down. A true heroine quests just for the sake of questing!
18:30 I almost drowned trying to save my reflection in the water.
19:58 A wandering stranger told me that I couldn’t be as stupid as I look, because that would be impossible.
19:41 My Lady, please give me the inspiration to imagine grand dreams and the courage to live them… Or at least the brain cells to remember them for a day or two.
10:15 Bought a golden brick. It seems a little damaged, but whatever, all in all it will be just another brick in the wall.
19:47 I want to learn from the mistakes of others, because I’ll never live long enough to make them all myself.
12:38 Are you sure you want gold bricks, Mighty One? Look at these lovely copper bricks: less expensive, and they even turn a pretty green after it rains.
09:20 Dearest diary, today was the day! I carefully laid the last brick, swept all the rooms, opened all windows to let your glorious light shine in. I can’t believe it, your temple is finally finished, my Lady! I feel delirious with happiness.
17:03 You know what? Let’s look for a new quest.
18:54 Felt the need to write in my diary… Guess this is it. Woo…
07:53 Who: Likenik. What: To waste time productively. When: Immediately. Where: Anywhere but here. Why: Trust me, Almighty, you really don’t want to know.
19:59 My whole life flashed before my eyes and faded away. Darn that Godville Administrator.
13:47 Another resurrection… Oh Mighty One, have you ever considered letting me into heaven instead?
02:47 Operatically sang “Being good is good!” as loud as I could, but shattered my aura of abstinence when I hit the high note. I’ll let someone else clean this up…
01:55 The doctor told me I’d be healthier if I stopped drinking so much. I pointed out that he’d be out of business if I were sober. Now, to collect this prescription for beer…
02:02 Tried to get the doctor to write me a prescription for beer. Don’t know whether it worked or not, because I can’t read his handwriting.
11:32 I didn’t think it was possible, but then again, I don’t really think that often.
14:44 Somehow I’ve managed to lose in an “Everybody is a winner!” contest. Found a chest full of money. Gonna drink heavily.
20:42 Chucked my old diary up at the sky to save it to the cloud.
18:33 Sacrificed some snow on the altar for my goddess. Watched in rapture as she transformed it into holy water.
20:37 The healer told me to give up beer for the sake of my health. Hilarious!
12:32 My one regret is that I didn’t spend enough time in the tavern. Oh, and I regret dying. Two regrets.
03:52 I heard once that beer is bad for you, but all that alcohol is preserving my corpse perfectly. If I ever come back to life, I’ll be lookin’ good!
17:44 Trying to decide between a genuine copy and an authentic replica…
13:43 Death asked me if I could show the newbies around since I know the place so well.
15:52 Why is it that every time someone passes by, they try to poke my body with a stick?
14:31 Oh no! It’s that kid with the poking stick again. No! Go away! Ouch! You just wait until I get resurrected…
08:32 A new gravestone! Thanks Great One, I’ll need to put it with the others in my garden.
05:58 Dead men tell no tales… So I guess I’m going to have to take up pantomime.
11:31 I was having a great time haunting people, until they went and had me exorcised. None of the afterlives would take me in either. On the plus side, I eventually managed to re-enter my body, and I sure scared the heck out of the priest who salted my corpse!
16:50 Great One, if what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger, then do I get weaker every time you resurrect me?
22:54 The physician gasped at my IQ test results and asked what it was before the accident. What accident?
22:57 Just because the doctor has a name for my condition doesn’t mean he understands it.
23:07 I have lots of great personality traits… or “symptoms” as my doctor calls them.
00:33 The physician hinted that we might be suffering from multiple personality disorder, but didn’t say which one of us.
00:52 I’m tired of the celebration, but the party is still in full swing. Must have been a really good occasion!
02:00 Managed to celebrate Godville’s anniversary. Got quest completion certificate.
20:35 I woke up in cold sweat. Had a nightmare that my life was someone else’s game…
19:47 Who: Likenik. What: To convince a frog that it used to be a prince. When: Immediately. Where: Anywhere but here.
12:05 I also found a princess who thought she used to be a frog. After the true love’s first kiss, it turned out she was right and they hopped off together. I hope they live happily ever after. My quest to convince a frog that it used to be a prince was completed with excellence. Got a shiny golden brick and felt great about it.
20:27 You know Almighty, disobedience of your commands is the last thing on my list. But it is on the darned list.
21:59 I finally found a date! Tall, skinny, black robe, scythe… Sadly, I did not enjoy it.
16:52 Brain-screws tightened, spine repositioned and eyeballs drilled tightly into their sockets, it’s time to get back to my mission.
23:36 Sometimes it feels like I only exist for your personal entertainment, Great One.
02:45 Watched a centipede in amazement. I have enough trouble with just two legs.
02:31 Under instruction from above, Likenik attacked the enemy with her full strength, instead of the token effort she’d been putting in so far.
02:34 I feel so light now, I think I could just float away. Fortunately, the weight of all these gold coins is pulling me back down towards the local tavern.
02:53 My hands are bleeding from punching trees. There should be a better way to collect firewood.
01:49 After a long and exhausting pillow fight that will be remembered for many years to come the blanket fort is still standing. A heroine’s work is never done, but my quest to defend a blanket fort for the night certainly is. This golden brick is a nice reward for such a thankless job.
00:58 Figured out that the cost of the balloon increases with the inflation, but then it drops to zero. Turns out nobody wants to pay for a popped balloon. Managed to determine the cost of a balloon after adjusting for inflation. Got a quest completion certificate.
10:19 I’ve just realized I can use a fork as a spoon if I do it fast enough.
10:27 Told the doctor that I think I’m a moth. He said I should see a psychiatrist. Told him I was going to, but just came in because his light was on.
21:33 Bribed the Crypt Creeper with my remaining health points to stop it from trying to kill me. Oh wait…
21:33 Came back to my senses at the district morgue. Refused the autopsy and was discharged under supervision of the district coroner.
15:49 This doctor’s accreditation looks like it was done in crayon, but he’s the only one around here that uses beer as an anesthetic.
23:58 I’m alive again! Thank you, my Lady, but I think you could have taken a bit more cosmetic care. I look like a murder that’s been badly disguised as an accident.
03:20 Made another involuntary blood donation.
03:26 For the death of me, I can’t seem to flatten the learning curve.
13:10 A giant hand descended from the sky and pointed in a random direction. Aha! So this is how I can flatten the learning curve faster!
04:01 Hey, there’s a sign here: “Due to the budget cuts the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. We apologize for any possible inconvenience.”
13:07 Tried to reap what I sowed. All I got back were seeds again.
22:34 Breathed in. Breathed out. I’m running out of things to write in my diary…
17:32 Today I fought, ate, prayed, and wrote in my diary – all while breathing. I’m good at multitasking.
22:43 Sat down to fish. I don’t think I’d bite for the key to happiness, but it’s worth a try.
22:48 My Goddess, what was that? You scared off all the fish!
02:23 I’m dying! I’m dyinnnggg — wait, no I’m not! Back to questing!
22:59 Tried my hand at being evil. Stomped on a bunch of ants, then felt sorry for them and asked the Almighty to resurrect them.
23:05 Went the long way around, because the short way always seems to be infested with monsters.
17:49 I always choose the road less travelled. Apparently, most other heroes do too; all these roads seem to be getting equal traffic.
21:08 Looks like my invite to Godville has been used as it should be… Great One, please send me a boyfriend!
23:50 A wandering sage told me that while some are wise, I am otherwise.
02:01 I’m one step away from being rich. All I need now is more money.
23:34 A glowing man with wings descended from the sky to give me a log. He called himself the “Ark-Angel.”
23:16 Found a more mole-friendly way to dig. It’s the same as normal digging, but I hand out mole treats as I go. My quest to find a more mole-friendly way to dig was a triumph! I’m making a note here: “huge success”. Got a golden brick too.
18:42 Turning 90 degrees while running is no easy business. My knees agree, as does the blood that’s puddled where I’ve fallen. But now my square running will amaze all the boys in town! Somehow I’ve managed to run around in squares. Found a chest full of money. Gonna go on a shopping spree.
18:50 An epic journey of a thousand milestones begins with a drunken dare to touch the sky.
10:17 Sold everything except my soul. The trader didn’t want it, even when I tried to throw it in for free.
22:02 I suddenly had a rush. Feels like Mighty One is nearby again.
09:31 Took a heavy blow to the head with consummate ease. For some reason, monsters seem to be under the impression that this part of me is vulnerable.
09:36 I’m walking around like everything is fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock keeps slipping off.
17:55 Passed a sign over a cave that read, ‘Please do not feed the monster; it gets enough heroes on its own’.
09:12 Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
00:30 Easy does it, but hard does it better.
17:23 Ripped some holes in my garments. One day I might become as holey as you, Great One.
20:07 Drank all night in the tavern and couldn’t settle my tab in the morning. The proprietor told me that I had a choice: either wash dishes or stand in the corner and think about what happened. I think the choice is obvious.
04:54 Found a completely logical, simple quest that made far more sense than many of the ones I’ve had. Enjoyed completing it. Why do the good ones always get rejected? My quest to find a good rejected quest and complete it has been completed! Got a life insurance as a reward. It’s time to go and celebrate.
20:18 Strange thoughts filled my head, and I suddenly felt compelled to flirt with danger while cheating on death. Almighty, was that your doing?
05:24 Saw a rock getting defeated by paper. Still confused as to how that happened.
05:28 My diary is really cool. It automatically records the time whenever I make a new entry.
05:38 On one hand, all this time in the sun has given me a nice tan. On the other hand… Well, actually that one has a nice tan too.
05:41 Boy, it feels good to write, “Being good is good!” instead of wasting my stamina yelling.
20:45 Most Righteous One, do you know what day is today? Remember, how you created me years ago? (The day before, 12/01/2021 → M/D/Y)
05:54 A heavy thunderstorm raged outside as a weird-looking man started to scream, “It’s alive! It’s alive!” I don’t know what the big deal is… this isn’t my first resurrection.
04:41 I wish I could write as mysteriously as a cat. I didn’t know they could. What do I know anyway?
22:27 Despite my constant pleading, the authorities still haven’t found my diary’s 11th entry.
10:50 The trader told me that this new diary has an extended writing life and a state-of-the-art quill. So far, I can’t tell the difference.
20:58 You know what they say about apples, but an onion a day keeps everyone away.
21:06 Tried to save money by visiting the vet instead of the doctor, but left in a hurry when he started talking about spaying.
20:50 Ate some kidney beans to repair my kidneys, but what I really need are liver beans.
20:56 I told the doctor I had to see him right away because I thought I was shrinking. He said he was busy and I’d just have to be the little patient.
21:02 The guild doctor transplanted a Rejectionist’s liver in place of my own. Can’t wait to test it out in the local tavern!
01:44 Note to self: Never test the depth of a river with both feet.
21:08 I woke up from a dream only to find myself in another dream. Wait, how do I know THIS one isn’t a dream too?
19:53 It was a grizzly venture, and the bear had some polarizing ideas, but in the end you have to panda it to him. Finally completed my quest to help a bear become koalafied. Got some experience and a golden brick after a long, draggy cutscene.
06:23 Passed through a paintball testing range. The flying colors were beautiful at first, less so after I got hit by so many. Had finally managed to take a paintball test and passed with flying colors when I was ambushed by a prize committee with an oversized check for fake coins. Time to celebrate.
10:58 A mysterious admirer bought me a pint of beer at the pub. After immediately skulling it, I noticed “Would you prove there’s more to life than questing and levelling up for me?” engraved in tiny script on the bottom of the glass. Oh, the trials and tribulations I must endure for my fans!
18:48 There is more to life after all! I had no idea until now! It’s called “drinking” and I’m about to prove it!
Completed my quest to prove there’s more to life than questing and levelling up, and all I got was this lousy T-shirt. No, wait. That was for Nipper. I didn’t get anything!
00:25 Who wants a hug? Somebody? Anybody? Nobody? Guess I’ll just hug myself then.
00:19 Used curiosity as my compass. After that, everything went south.
00:15 Was delighted to find a bridge up ahead, but then I saw its wave function had collapsed.
07:26 Suddenly took an arrow to the knee. That really hurts, you know.
01:10 Reality continues to ruin my life.
04:58 Fell off a cliff and discovered gravity. Again.
21:13 Therapy helps, but screaming obscenities is faster and cheaper.
14:35 It’s been a while since anything bad has happened, which usually means that I’m way overdue for trouble.