Chapter One: Abomination
Life was quite good as a miscellaneous creature in the gutters of Godville. The unnamed monsters who fed off the scraps that the upper world threw down, wraiths yearning to be given shape and purpose as monsters, staying far away from those yearning to be heroes, artifacts or any of those useless things.
Wait. You say. Isn’t this supposed to be about a hero? Well mistakes happen okay? Sheesh.
It just so happens that that day the heroes-to-be wraiths had discovered mirrors, not that they were any good for looking at themselves, themselves being shapeless wraiths, they instead used them for the worth while past time of trying to blind the passerbys, by reflecting sunshine off it. Yes, our heroes were white annoying even as shapeless wraiths. They never grow up. So as a new hero was supposed to be created with a heavenly light, it was reflected all the way to the opposing gutter. After this mischief, the not-yet-heroes turned the mirror at the god, managing to change the suitably fearsome and majectic name he had thought up to “Moop Boop”, and the hero-monster abomination that had been created to “Booper 2”.
Chapter Two: The First Days
As the abomination was half monster, it was formed at the monster revival site… And instantly killed, by a boulder that dropped from the sky. It seemed Moop Book wasn’t happy with his abomination. After a while the abomination began noticing that his god never called her by her true name. It might have been a bit too obvious with the voices saying things 24/7 such as: “Stop bothering me abomination!”
“Don’t drink that holy water, its my pee, abomination!”
“Stop being an abomination, abomination!”At first the abomination kindly asked to be called by her true name. The God answer end by dropping a golden brick on her head. The next day, the abomination said she would give Moop Book the silent treatment unless she was called by her true name. After five long and arduous minutes Moop Book abstained and after many apologies and spammed encourages, with all those auras of rage, Booper went insane.
Chapter three: The disadvantages of insanity
At first Moop Boop had thought this was a good thing, insane heroes would kill more monster right? Wrong. Insane heroes are sent to the Asylum.
Naturally Booper was quite afraid of that place, the loud cracking sounds that came from within certainly didn’t help… But a couple lighting bolts to the behind did all the work.
With his hero safely locked away Moop Boop turned to greater deeds: retirement. He ignored his hero, no longer checking in on his diary, he left his remote control well alone and spent his days on the cloud beaches of heaven.
One day however, he was rudly woken from his sunbathing by loud sirens, loud cracking noises, and an angry mob of gods and goddesses. The mob grabbed him and dragged him along to his personal alter in heaven, where sacrifices were received and his remote control kept. Well at least it was where his alter was supposed to be, in a large building with a few hundred other alters, part of a complex of similar buildings. The only problem was the alter wasn’t there. Neither was the building. The things that WAS there though was a huge pile of a plastic sheets with bumps in them, along with some debris from the building.
“What does this have to do with me?” He asked, not really wanting to know and yearning for his nice beachside resort.
A shifty-eyed nervous looking god approached, no not a god. A maintenence officer of the alters.
“Well sir, it appears your hero sacrificed… This” he gestured at the huge pile of what we non-godville people know as bubble wrap.
“Hmmmm” went Moop Boop before fainting dead away.