Last updated: 2012-08-22 (markup changes)
Sing Along with the OhMG Hymnal (presented with limited commercial interruption)
- Pro Tag of Godville
- The Ballad of Pro Tagonist
- One Night in Godville
Pro Tag of Godville 1
- Now this is the story of Protagonist,
- A quick little tale that shouldn’t be missed.
- It’ll take me just a minute, sit back and chill,
- To tell you how she became hero in a town called Godville.
- A girl of the Valley both born and raised,
- At the beach and the mall she spent most of her days.
- Chilling out, relaxing, nary a frown,
- Until an innocent trip turned life upside down.
- In the City of Angels and divine Holy Wood
- She discovered OhMG and the power of good.
- Once she saw the light, heathens began to resist her,
- And her greatest adversary was her own father’s sister.
- So she left her home and finally made her way
- To Godville as OhMG’s beloved devotee.
Does your God sound Daffy when you duel? Drowning you in demands to “Ho! Ha ha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Ha! Thrust!” like a demented duck? Consider Divine Intervention with a professional voice coach. Metatron : the Name you can Trust.
The Ballad of Pro Tagonist 2
- Come ’n listen to my story ’bout Pro Tagonist
- A simple valley girl, always givin’ it her best
- And then one day, she was hangin’ with some dude
- When with the holy spirit she was suddenly imbued
- God, that is, Goddess: OhMG!
- Well, the first thing you know, dear Pro’s a heroine
- Kin folk said, Girl, leave this land of sun and sin
- Said, yonder Godville is the place that suits your skills
- So she loaded up her gear and headed for the hills
- Godville, that is, Arenas, Temples, heroes…
And now a quick word from Pat Paulsen, speaking for the Guild by Association recruitment committee: “We’re upping our standards. So up yours.”
One Night in Godville 3
- Godville: fantasy game setting
- But the players don’t know what the city is getting
- The creme de la creme of heroics in a
- Show with everything but Chuck Norris
- Time flies — doesn’t seem a minute
- Since every teeny town has a guild hall in it
- Must quest. Don’t you know that when you
- Play at this level there’s no ordinary venue
- It’s Beerburgh, or Los Adminos, or Trollbridge
- Or…
- Or this place!
- One night in Godville for a drunken bender
- God wants a temple, but gold bricks ain’t free
- You’ll find your god demands a place of splendor
- But if you’re lucky then your god’s easy
- I can see a rainbow stretching over me
- One town’s very like another
- When you’re questing for gold pieces, brother
- It’s a drag, it’s a bore, it’s really such a pity
- To be snookered by some crook when shopping in the city
- Whaddya mean?
- Ya seen one crowded, polluted, stinking town
- Town girls, warm and sweet
- But they slap you around
- If you treat them like fresh meat.
- Get bent, you’re talking like a tourist
- Every hero here is among the purest
- We get our kicks from fighting monsters, baby
- One night in Godville makes a hero humble
- Not much between despair and ecstasy
- One night in Godville and the tough guys tumble
- Can’t be too careful with your diety
- I can feel the lightning bolts which threaten me
- Godville’s gonna be the witness
- To the ultimate test of heroic fitness
- Duels grip me more than any
- Chariot race or wild animal frenzy
- Cause my God is up there watching the game,
- Controlling it
- I don’t see you guys waiting
- On the kind of god I’m venerating
- I’d let you play, that would be alright
- But I just don’t have a Godville invite
- So, you better go back to your bars,
- Your temples, your hospitals…
- One night in Godville for a drunken bender
- God wants a temple, but gold bricks ain’t free
- You’ll find your god demands a place of splendor
- A little flesh, a little history
- I can see a rainbow stretching over me
- One night in Godville makes a hero humble
- Not much between despair and ecstasy
- One night in Godville and the tough guys tumble
- Can’t be too careful with your diety
- I can feel the lightning bolts which threaten me
Tune in again next week, when you’ll hear Pro Tagonist say: “A disgusting odor fills the air… Is there a terrifying creature nearby? Or maybe it’s just me… Yeah, it’s me.”
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Music credits:
1 The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air by Will Smith
2 The Ballad of Jed Clampett by Paul Henning
3 One Night in Bangkok by Benny Andersson and Björn Ulvaeus
All lyrics by OhMG
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Special bonus: Formatting tips for Chronicles
- Markup is similar to that used in the forums. So far, I haven’t found a specific markup scheme which matches 100% to what works here, although it appears to be a variant of Textile.
- Text formatting
- *bold*
- _italics_
- -strikethrough-
- ^superscript^
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- Paragraph/line formatting
- start a line with bq. to blockquote
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- for nested lists, append another * or # to the start of the line
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