Divine Note: These are getting long, and will probably be condensed and archived over on my Godwiki page in the not-too-distant future.
In the beginning…
...let there be… me!
At least, that’s about all I can figure happened, since I really don’t remember anything before suddenly finding myself wandering past milestone after milestone, being randomly assaulted by strange creatures, and acquiring, well, stuff.
This entry brought to you by the level 1.
Beer, beer, beer, said the heroine…
All that stuff I’ve been picking up? I found a use for it! If you trade it, you can buy beer! And you can spend many happy nights in the hospital, never quite sure what happened during your stay!
This entry brought to you by the level 3 and way too much time in Beerburgh.
Mind Your Manners!
I’m spreading My Lady’s Word to the entire world! Except… well… she forgot to tell me what that that Word was supposed to be. So I had to, well, improvise. But She’s good, right? So what better battle cry?
This entry brought to you by the level 7 and a ruler.
It’s Great! Like String!
I keep hearing these words, over and over again, in my head. They must be divinely inspired, right? I shall try them out as a battle cry!
This entry brought to you by the level 9 and an inside joke.
It’s a small world after all
I ran into a couple of friends today!
This entry brought to you by the level 10.
On fashion choices
Really? Pink fur mittens? Really? ‘Nuff said.
This entry brought to you by the level 11 and a refusal to actually spend money on armor and weapons instead of beer, combined with the complaint that My Lady sends me to the Arena too often.
Bob the Builder
Score! I bought a gold brick today! And laid the foundation for my temple!
This entry brought to you by the level 12.
Partners, Brothers, and Friends
Wow! The Blue Feather guild’s hazing was pretty easy! And I’ve found something I can do well – stand in the square and tell everyone how ridiculously awesome we are! So much better than shopping for that stupid armor stuff.
This entry brought to you by the level 12 and completion of a join guild quest.
On Deity
I’ve started to think that My Lady sleeps way too much. Because she always seems to resurrect me at the same time each morning.
This entry brought to you by the level 12 and a third overnight death.
Lessons Learned… Again
Diary Entry: Darn! My bulky gear prevented me from dodging a strike. Mental note: replace it with something less clunky if I want to stay alive.
Diary Entry: The No-good Do-gooder struck a critical blow. Why must I suffer so? Is it because of my shoddy armor?
This entry brought to you by the level 12 and a Goddess who is convinced that when Her Champion needs to make a decision between armor and beer, beer will win.
Shopping Karma
Diary Entry: They had nothing in my size. I need to lose some weight. Or gain some more.
This entry brought to you by the level 12 and the seemingly confirmed belief that Her Champion needs to be rescued by the folks from “What Not To Wear”. Herself is slightly mollified, however, by the overnight purchase of another gold brick.
Life, the Universe, and Everything
Diary Entry: Ate. Prayed. Killed something.
Yup. That about sums it up.
This entry brought to you by the level 12 and the recovery of some lost marbles.
All The News That’s Fit To Print
From today’s Godville Times: “Astrologers from the “Blue Feather” guild reassure us that the future is almost here.” Excellent! I’m interning in the right place!
This entry brought to you by the level 12 and the ongoing effort to avoid buying armor.
Rules Lawyering
I keep having this feeling that I’m supposed to buy something. So I did! I replaced my +3 water wings with +3 muscle sleeves! They are so much cooler… And I must have done it right, because My Lady encouraged me a couple of times afterwards – particularly when I was proclaiming the praises of my Guild family!
This entry brought to you by the level 12 and a certain heroine’s apparent love of multiple pieces of -4 armor.
Health and Welfare
I’ve spent a lot of time in the hospital lately, so I decided that, much as I’d rather party, hitting the vintage shop for a few new pieces of equipment would be a good idea. I’m not going to buy new, though – have you seen the kind of damage those monsters do? Used stuff, baby, all way. A much better value for the money. Sure, it’s seen better days, but since it’s going to end up bent, battered, full of holes, and covered in monster insides, why would any reasonably intelligent hero buy new?
This entry brought to you by the level 13 and your local vintage armor supply store.
Lessons from the Beyond
I had several hours to contemplate everything from my naval to an anthill last night. (I am now an expert on ant behavior for the anthill just under the burning bush off to the left of milestone 44, near where I killed that, well, near where I’ve killed any number of things, but that’s somewhat beside the point.) I have come to the conclusion that I was, indeed, correct. My Lady sleeps. Because yet again, She resurrected me early in the morning. I never thought the gods slept, but She must.
This entry brought to you by the level 13 and the heroine who still refuses to buy armor without a -# rating.
A Dry Spell
I must have had way too much to drink the other day. The very thought of drinking turns my stomach. Y’know, when you aren’t drinking, there’s a lot of gold to buy bricks with! I hope you like these new bricks, My Lady!
This entry brought to you by the level 13 and an aura of abstinence.
United We Stand
All my pronouncing about the complete and utter awesomeness of my Guild is having some unexpected consequences. Today, I was given my very own plastic hammer (0)! Hm…. I get more free stuff from praising the Blue Feather guild than I do from praising My Lady. I must think about this…
This entry brought to you by the level 14 and the lack of – signs next to someone’s equipment list, for the first time ever…
Dead Like Me
Another opportunity to contemplate the meaning of life while wondering if my limbs can be reattached. Maybe this is why My Lady keeps trying to convince me to buy better equipment?
This entry brought to you by the level 14 and death #5.
Flatlining
I get such a rush out of near-death experiences! Which is probably why I tempt it so very often… My Lady had just blessed me with Her healing power, and I was feeling invincible! I suppose that’s why I’m now limping back to Tradeburg while straddling the line between life and death… My Lady, aren’t you supposed to be paying better attention?
This entry brought to you by the level 15, 1 point of health, and a hero who was apparently a med student in her former life.
Experimentation
I thought My Lady wasn’t paying attention. And the guys I was drinking with last night were so much fun, so I decided to go find their guild house and see if they wanted a new member. She isn’t usually quite so insistent about the whole ‘Obey Me’, thing, but heavens, did She get persistent this time! I’ve seen what happens to some of the other heroes when their Gods get upset with them. I’ve avoided that whole lightning thing so far… maybe I won’t push Her on this particular issue. I’m sure I can find something else to do with my time, right?
This entry brought to you by the level 15 and a hero was seemed to think a guild change was in order. Emphasis on the word ‘was’.
The Right Tool For The Job
Apparently, gold bricks aren’t very good at opening boxes. My Lady, why am I building Your Temple out of a material that breaks when you try to break a box open with it? Don’t You deserve the very best? Maybe we should consider granite? Or marble?
This entry brought to you by the level 15 and a very annoying mystery box.
Trying on a new Title
Master. Maaaaaaster. MaSTIR! MasterMasterMaster! Hm? Oh. I just like the sound of it. Maaaaaaaster Mekkhala!
This entry brought to you by the level 16 and a new Guild title.
Investigating the Underworld
Falling into a pit hurts. I’m going to find whoever has been digging all these pits and help them fall into one. Or two. Or many.
This entry brought to you by the level 17 and several sudden pit-finding experiences.
Groundhog Day
Playing dead isn’t always a good idea. Sometimes, it just gives the monster a chance to kill you. Dying is overrated as a past time. And it’s extremely boring.
This entry brought to you by the level 18, two more deaths, and not a pet in sight.
I’ll hug him, and squeeze him, and call him George
Well, ok, I’ll call it Nessie, and I’m not sure how to figure out whether or not it’s a girl or a boy. But I finally have a companion for my journeys! No, Divine Lady, I don’t mean to insult You, You’re a wonderful companion, but I want someone real. Um, yes, You’re real. You know what I mean. After all, You’re all-knowing, right, My Lady?
This entry brought to you by the level 18 and a dust bunny.
I think I’ve been here before
Um, My Lady? I don’t suppose you’d mind waking up and doing something about this? Nessie’s nibbling on my toes, and I think he might be thinking that I’m dinner. I’ve seen what he does to some of the monsters I fight.
This entry brought to you by the level 19 and yet another death.
Was it something I said?
I’m starting to wonder about those nights I can’t remember and what I’ve been doing. Three times in the last two days I’ve been accosted by random strangers while out on My Lady’s business. I don’t think I’ve ever met these people before! Has someone sent assassins after me? My Lady, I’m worried… can’t You do something about this?
This entry brought to you by the level 19 and three skirmishes in two days.
Some days you’re the windshield, some days you’re the bug
Not that I know what a windshield is… Nessie sacrificed himself to save me today. I’ve been told there’s a way to resurrect him, but I keep needing retail therapy to feel better after his death. And then I get to the temple and don’t have enough money left over. I’m being careful not to let my guild mates know that I’m having trouble staying away from the shops, however. Someone left 923 gold pieces under my pillow earlier, and I think it was a collection to help bring Nessie back. Now I’ve really got to try to hold onto my gold so I don’t let them down… My Lady, won’t You just send a rainbow, or something?
This entry brought to you by the level 21, a dead pet, and a very stubborn hero.
A new day dawns
Thank You, my Lady! Goddess Supreme, marvel of the Universe, She To Whom I Pray and Build Temples! Nessie coming back to me is better than a rainbow! I’m so sorry I was mad at You and ignoring You yesterday! I must be doing well in Your service – I shall go forth and smite monsters in Your Holy Name!
This entry brought to you by the level 22 and a resurrected dust bunny.
Career choices
My Lady, do You think maybe I could consider a career change? It’s really hard to do this much digging with a skullcrusher… A shovel would be much easier. And honestly, have You ever tried to move this much dirt in armor?
This entry brought to you by the level 22 and a few too many dig commands.
Darkness looms
But retail therapy is good for me, My Lady! And You did say to buy bricks and build You a temple! Oh, I miss my Nessie so much!
This entry brought to you by five trips to town with almost twice the needed gold, five gold bricks, two shiny new shields, one compass of misdirection, one huge drinking binge, one major well donation, the level 24, and a partridge in a pear tree.
I’ll even forgive you for stealing things from my pack, you miserable dust bunny!
My Lady! It’s a miracle! Nessie! You’ve come back to me!
This entry brought to you by the level 24 and a hail mary attempt to set up the right circumstances for a resurrection.
Bits of ribbon and tin
I have medals! My Lady, where did all the pretty decorations come from? Wow – I even get one for dying alot! But, hey? Where’s the one for being the Life of the Party at the last Hero’s ball in San Satanos? Hm?
This entry brought to you by the level 25 and the release of achievements.
Slashing? Really?
My beloved Nessie has taken to shredding things. Things like armor, and gold bricks, and my loot bag… I need to find a pet whisperer in town. Quickly. Or this could get really cut into my beer fund!
This entry brought to you by the level 30 and a new pet personality.