Hero

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Raalph 27

level 71

For the love of monkeys!?

Age 13 years 3 months
Personality neutral
Guild no guild
Monsters Killed about 170 thousand
Death Count 134
Wins / Losses 83 / 31
Temple Completed at 08/21/2013
Wood for Ark 63.3%
Savings 3M, 441k (11.5%)
Pet Double dragon Iago

Equipment

Weapon nunchuckle +78
Shield plausible deniability +78
Head data miner's headlamp +82
Body black light armor +79
Arms love shackles +78
Legs kilt of mooning +80
Talisman albatross necklace +82

Skills

  • strike of the rabbit level 58
  • brainstorm level 55
  • thumb beating level 47
  • powerful sneeze level 46
  • steel finger level 44
  • knight's move level 39
  • poisoned kiss level 38
  • deafening snore level 33
  • peace enforcement level 31
  • instant hairloss level 31

Pantheons

Might19652
Templehood8052
Gladiatorship3350
Storytelling282

Achievements

  • Animalist, 1st rank
  • Builder, 1st rank
  • Careerist, 1st rank
  • Favorite, 1st rank
  • Invincible, 1st rank
  • Renegade, 1st rank
  • Champion, 2nd rank
  • Fiend, 2nd rank
  • Martyr, 2nd rank
  • Shipwright, 2nd rank
  • Hunter, 3rd rank

Hero's Chronicles

Alas, I awakened. Hair damp, in tattered dripping ribbons that must once have been clothes, muttering, “Time… time…”, but time for what? As the buzzing of incoherent thoughts began to dissipate, I realized, not “Time”, but rather, “Thyme”! My Goddess.

Memories began to resolve themselves in my mind’s eye: The thundering current, the flotsam I repeatedly failed to grasp in my futile effort to keep my head above water, and then the dawning horror of realization: the concussive roar wasn’t the fearsome GodvilleAdministrator I had so recently cowered before, but a waterfall! The terror of the experience flooded over me anew as I recalled the physical force with which it struck me…. On second thought, it may simply have been one of the massive tree limbs smacking into my skull with, of course, the aid of the hateful current. Either way, all went dark.

How I arrived here upon the shore, so near the point where I should have gone over the falls & been dashed to bits, I can only attribute to my beloved goddess, Thyme! How else could I be alive with nothing to show for my harrowing experience but a tattered, wet tunic & trousers, & a headache no worse than my usual hangover?

I am grateful to be conscious & intact, but, I secretly wonder why she must always let me come within a hair’s breath of nonexistence before she decides to rescue me?! Is she too busy to be concerned about my pathetic life? I quietly suspect it is more likely that I am no more than a source of amusement for her. Perhaps she is actually a sadistic goddess who derives so much pleasure & laughter from my failings that she only saves me when that “entertainment” is in imminent danger of being lost….

OUCH! It appears I didn’t wonder quietly enough. Avast, I must make haste to the temple of my, umm, generous & benevolent goddess, the loving & powerful Thyme, to make offerings & pray forgiveness for the momentary lapse in my blind, unquestioning devotion to one so beautiful & gracious…. OUCH! Another lightning bolt! Must I grovel AS I run, Great One?